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Selfishness Is Not Always Bad
It might actually be the only way to define your boundaries
You are so selfish! A remark that drives many of us into a defensive mode.
But I am not…. remember when I did XYZ for you. I am just busy right now, maybe later?
We say maybe later knowing very well we are swamped. Or feel that we are being taken advantage of. Or we simply do not want to do whatever is being asked of us.
Whatever the reasons, we get defensive because we are obsessed with being the good guy. We want acceptance. We want love. We want admiration. But sometimes we go too far.
Cut yourself some slack
On most occasions, when people tell you that you are selfish, they mean; you are not giving them what they want, when they want, as they want. And that is already selfishness on their part.
On the other hand; If you are in the habit of thinking others need you and without you, they won’t be able to solve their own problems, then the problem might actually be you, and not them.
In short, you see them as the “victim” and you see yourself as the “savior”.
Let me explain:
