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Graduating from My “Savior Complex”
You cannot save everyone
I lost my dad 26 years ago. But I have never forgotten his generosity towards everyone. I remember as a child we always had distant relatives or random people just coming to pick up food, clothes that we had outgrown, and sometimes we would drop school items to orphans who my dad had come across. Our house was always full of people who needed help. He was popular for his generosity. I wouldn’t say we were wealthy, but we were comfortable.
My mum is still alive. And she is a giver as well — sometimes to her own detriment. It is not always easy to help people who have come from difficult backgrounds. Sometimes what they need is much more than the human basic needs — food, clothing and shelter. Especially if they are recovering from some sort of emotional trauma, which in my opinion, only a professional can help. This has led to a few occasions where my mum has ended up suffering in the hands of the people she is trying to “save”.
When my mum shares her frustrations with me, I would be quick to tell her — mum you’ve tried enough, just let them go, you can’t fix everything and everyone.
The only problem is this, it took me a while to realize that I was actually living the same way my parents had been living. An apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
